Part 2…

In part 1 I spoke about the 10 must haves in personal relationships.  Hopefully you have managed to identify and work on some of those must haves and are enjoying the rewards from them. What we need to remember is that life requires us to be in relationship with EVERYTHING.  We relate to everything and everyone around us to varying degrees constantly.  That means that we have a relationship with our health, our money, our thoughts, our belongings, our career, our role as a parent, etc. Each relationship will have its own picture and will be done through our own unique filters which have been created from our lives up until this point.  In these filters will be common threads which will either be helping us or hindering us.  If we can apply some basic components to our filters, we can help change the threads that are not helping us.

Of course, this will need to be done one step at a time and will need to be reassessed from time to time.  We know when it is time to reassess when we realize that a particular relationship is no longer serving us the way it used to. Perhaps it is your relationship with your money.  Perhaps on assessing it you will notice that your emotional state has changed, and you have altered some of your commitments or boundaries.  The important thing is to realize when things have changed and set about going back to the basics of how you want your relationships to be.  Again, how we see relationships and how we do relationships, even with inanimate objects and events, begins with how we experienced these relationships as a child and what we decided to believe.  More specifically in your first seven years, when the foundations were laid down. Once again, unless you turn your attention to your relationships and the many aspects of them, you will continue running your relationships according to your seven-year-old perspective which is probably full of untruths.

So, take a moment to reflect on which relationships you feel are not working as well as how you would like them to be.  Notice your beliefs around them.  Begin one at a time.

We need to understand what your relationships need in order to thrive, and then decide how you are going to implement these needs into each of your relationships. Work on one at a time so that you do not feel overwhelmed.  If you feel you already have some of these active in your relationships, see how you can improve and enhance them.

NUMBER ONE – Communication is paramount!

Without regular check ins and communication we are unable to establish where we are in relation to where we want to be.  Communication helps us feel informed and empowered to make changes.  It helps us avoid the “ostrich head buried in the sand” syndrome and helps us nip required areas of change in the bud before it gathers momentum.

NUMBER TWO – Listen!

Pay attention to the feedback the events and situations are giving you. Remove all distractions so that you are fully present and can focus all your attention on finding solutions.  When we are distracted, we may miss the subtle messages we are receiving from the feedback, which could be key to finding the solutions.

NUMBER THREE – Show appreciation and gratitude.

Make sure to spend time acknowledging what is going well.  Express your appreciation and gratitude for the effort and progress you have already made and the opportunity you have to improve things even more as well as the resources you may have.

NUMBER FOUR – Be present.

Take responsibility for your part in the relationships you have with life.  When we leave things to chance there are a million different unpredictable outcomes that could turn up.  Make conscious decisions and leave nothing to chance.

NUMBER FIVE – Be supportive.

 Acknowledge when you are struggling or feeling out of your depth.  Identify where you may need a different perspective, further information, or a mind shift.  Do this without judgement.  No one was born with an encyclopaedia embedded in their brain and with life moving at the pace that it does, the encyclopaedia would become outdated anyway.  Stay up to date with modern thought and technology as best you can.  If you need further resources, find the ones that will work best for you.  It is not a one size fits all.

NUMBER SIX – Learn new things.

Psychology and technology are constantly evolving.  Be inquisitive about different ways of relating and doing things.  There is always more!

NUMBER SEVEN – Respect your relationship.

Everything you are in relationship with demands a level of respect.  This will ensure that you will take the time to nurture that relationship.  As soon as respect fails, the quality of that relationship will diminish and eventually cause pain. This you cannot avoid.

NUMBER EIGHT – Develop Trust.

Keep yourself informed enough to enable yourself to trust in yourself.  Trusting yourself is extremely important for a healthy and empowered relationship with everything. This means that when you commit to something, stay committed.  As soon as you let yourself down and you feel unable to trust yourself, your confidence in your abilities amongst other things will fail and to build that up again will take a lot more effort.  If this is an area you struggle with, start by taking small steps involving commitments to yourself, (and others).

NUMBER NINE – Be Honest.

You must be honest with yourself.  I know this can be hard sometimes and you may feel resistance.  Write down your truth before you get a chance to deny it and then you can entertain all your stories.  Make sure you get back to the truth you have written down to help you find workable solutions.  Living in denial may give you some temporary relief but this will lead to deeper pain if it is left unattended to.

NUMBER TEN – Show up.

Even if you are not sure what the solutions to ineffective parts of your relationships are, show up.  You cannot fix or remedy anything if you do not show up.  That means acknowledging the issue and the possibility that there could be improvement. Showing up for yourself will help feed respect, honesty, trust, appreciation, and confidence in yourself.

When you pay attention to these aspects of your relationships with life, you cannot help but experience more fulfilment and abundance in life.

Remember that nurturing relationships takes time and effort, but it’s worth it in the end.

Author: Lara Park